Locker Talk
by SYuuri
Summary: In a terribly hot day, Sam, Spike and Wordy find themselves talking about the only female member of the team. Whatever happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room. xX oneshot Xx


**Locker Talk**

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**Disclaimer:**** You'll know what's mine and what's not.**

**:: Okay, so here I am, sitting at my desk without anything to do, waiting for office hours to be over and trying not to look at the clock every two minutes. Therefore, I decided to make myself busy. Hopefully by the time I finish this, I'll only have another 30 minutes or so to go before I can get home. **

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"Man, is it hot in here or what?" Wordy said, tugging at his damp black undershirt before pulling it over his head. "It's even worse than last year. Is the air conditioner even working?"

"The temp's around 25 yesterday, but today?" Spike commented, his tone almost whining. The side of his face was pressed tight to the cold steel of the locker. "I'm telling you, it's global warming. Encourage your neighbors to use less hot water and start planting trees. And don't forget the huge three Rs, gentlemen… Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. You could save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide a year doing that," Opening his eyes, he nodded at Sam, still unwilling to part his face from the cold surface. "Look at him, selling his car for a second hand bike. He didn't even care that it would give him a huge problem of getting laid. Go green with Samtastic. Proud of you, man." He gave Sam a tired thumb up.

"Everybody got to start somewhere," Sam shrugged modestly, although the real motive behind the new vehicle wasn't near as noble as Spike had made it seem to be. "Babysteps."

"The kids have been asking Shelley to take them to the pool lately. If this heat goes on, I might take up the offer myself."

"Hmm…swimming pool, cold drinks, preferably a tall glass of pineapple juice or probably a Mai Thai, children's laughing and splashing water, at the poolside girls stretching out and sun-bathing…" Spike mumbled, the contented expression on his face never left his face. "So Sam… is our Julianna Callaghan a bikini girl or she'd rather wear a one-piece bathing suit?"

The question was unexpected as it was outrageous that Sam nearly choked on his water. Wordy burst out laughing, clearly amused at the turn of event. Across the room, Spike was grinning like a mad man.

Sam knew that the team, not only Sarge, had sniffed something back then. They just never made any direct comment about it before. He suspected mostly because they didn't want to press the wrong button. Parker knew, that's for sure, but Sam had never neither confirmed nor denied the relationship to the other guys before. For all they knew, the Jules and Sam Office Romance was only a myth.

"Honestly, I can't really picture Jules in bikini," Sam carefully began, opting not to take the 'why-asked-me' route because that would lead to even more questions that he had no desire to touch. Still, that was an honest statement. He might know what she liked to wear to bed, but bathing suits were out of his knowledge. _Yeah, Sam, but can you picture Jules in, say, nothing? Shit. Let's not go there now, Braddock. _"I think she'd go one-piece."

"But you'd rather have her in two-piece, wouldn't you?" Spike pressed on, momentarily forgetting the blazing heat.

"I'd rather have women not baring everything all at once. Woman's body is an endless mystery, you know." Sam answered casually, though inside he had no difficulties in choosing which outfit he'd rather see Jules in. _More skin, easy access... Did Spike really have to ask?_ His private pondering didn't stop there. What color? Something purple, maybe. He would never say this to her face, but he actually liked to see her in a more 'girly' color.

Swimming had been the last thing they had in mind when they had been dating, especially with Jules' home renovation on the way. Not that he minded priming her drywall, _not_ at the very least, but still.

Swimming pool, cold drinks, perhaps one tall glass of mango smoothie (because she liked it), children's laughing and splashing water, at the poolside Jules stretching out in pink bikini and sun-bathing…

Now, Spike, _that_ sounded _much_ better.

"Whatever floats your boats, buddy." Spike replied, his hand fanning his flushed face vigorously. "Global warming, folks, don't say I never warned you, it's global warming."

And just like that, the conversation was back on track- much to Sam's relief. "I better take a shower."

"Cold shower, Sammy?" Spike shouted to his back before breaking into another round of laughter. Wordy was not far behind, the double meaning of his teammate's words was as clear as day.

"Jules is so going to snipe you guys if she knew what you guys have been talking," Wordy shook his head, giving Spike a 'boys will always be boys' look. "It's not even a question. You would be totally, utterly toast. Dead in every sense of the word."

"What happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room." Sam retorted back. He had been embracing the motto ever since the day they made use of Jules' changing room to play hooky a year before. However, he had to agree that hell hath no fury like Jules' scorned.

"Amen to that, brother." Spike piped up, his face dimpled into a smile.

Peeling his shirt off his body, Sam wandered further into the room.

Yeah, _Jules_, definitely a cold shower.

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**One and a half hour to go. So much for 30 minutes. Hope you liked it :)**


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